As I write this, I’m closing out one more cycle of subscriptions for the Committing to Your Writing Practice workshop subscription I run, and it makes me think of how often students ask me “How do you stay committed to writing in the face of everything else in your life?”. Too much creative advice in the world is absolutist about this: If you want to be a writer, you must write every day; if you want to commit to your art, you must prioritise it first thing every morning, and so on.
I feel nurtured by friends and family members who have unflinching faith in my capabilities even on the days when I don't. I feel nurtured when activists, friends around me work towards making the society a better place. When they work on themselves to break their on toxic patterns, put en effort to understand how social inequalities work. When I move my body, I feel I am nurturing myself. Prepare a meal for myself and others. Breaking away from my own toxic patterns. Most importatnly allowing myself to fail.
In one of the work of fiction , Dalit character says, "we have no option but to be best". One always mentions the greatness of Ambedkar. I felt like a failure whenever I wasn't the best in the room. 9/10 times I wasn't the best in the room. I felt something is fundamentally wrong with me and I was unworthy of happiness. Only in recent times, I understand the extent of the statement. one is not given many chances to fail. The world belongs to the one who "succeeded". If one belongs to one or more than marginalised section, the chances given are slashed to one or none. And so one has no option but to be best. Once I understood these hard expectations are less to do with me and my capabilities and more with cruel world, we live in. I stopped trying to be the best and focused on becoming better than yesterday. I have started focusing on activities that give me joy. I allowed myself to fail.
Thanks for sharing Vidula! I’m currently doing a diploma in Narrative Therapy, and in one of our sessions today, someone said something about the value of spaces where we don’t need to be our best selves-- where we can be our whole selves instead. I love that framing of it, and it resonated for me with what you’re saying
I feel nurtured by friends and family members who have unflinching faith in my capabilities even on the days when I don't. I feel nurtured when activists, friends around me work towards making the society a better place. When they work on themselves to break their on toxic patterns, put en effort to understand how social inequalities work. When I move my body, I feel I am nurturing myself. Prepare a meal for myself and others. Breaking away from my own toxic patterns. Most importatnly allowing myself to fail.
In one of the work of fiction , Dalit character says, "we have no option but to be best". One always mentions the greatness of Ambedkar. I felt like a failure whenever I wasn't the best in the room. 9/10 times I wasn't the best in the room. I felt something is fundamentally wrong with me and I was unworthy of happiness. Only in recent times, I understand the extent of the statement. one is not given many chances to fail. The world belongs to the one who "succeeded". If one belongs to one or more than marginalised section, the chances given are slashed to one or none. And so one has no option but to be best. Once I understood these hard expectations are less to do with me and my capabilities and more with cruel world, we live in. I stopped trying to be the best and focused on becoming better than yesterday. I have started focusing on activities that give me joy. I allowed myself to fail.
Thanks for sharing Vidula! I’m currently doing a diploma in Narrative Therapy, and in one of our sessions today, someone said something about the value of spaces where we don’t need to be our best selves-- where we can be our whole selves instead. I love that framing of it, and it resonated for me with what you’re saying