I resonate with this so strongly. The half-finished project I set aside is MUCH harder for me than the blank page. And I very much recognize myself in the cycles of inertia and motion you describe.
What I think I've finally learned about myself is that there is a point in *every* creative project I touch -- from a little card I'm drawing for a friend to a huge multi-month art piece -- where it's not going at all the way I wanted and I feel deeply dismayed and my spirits sag and I think "Ugh, this will never amount to anything" or "This is such a mess, I'll never be able to salvage it." The intensity and duration of this flag in my spirits is in direct proportion to the size of the project, so it lasts a few minutes for a small gifty thing and can last weeks, sometimes months, for a serious endeavor.
It's such a discouraging experience, but sometime in the last year I realized that it ALWAYS HAPPENS, no matter what, and if I get through it the project always *does* turn out one way or another -- maybe not the way I expected, but it's never *actually* ruined or unsalvageable, no matter what that voice whispers. Now, thankfully, when I feel that flattening sense of it'll-never-turn-out, I can recognize that it's simply that moment arising at its usual and appointed time. Sometimes, if I'm not actually enthusiastic about a project, that feeling of dismay is actually a *useful* a signal for me to abandon it -- because it truly doesn't feel worth the effort of the push -- but mostly, now, it's the signal that I should simply keep going, and it will turn out, as everything else I've made has eventually turned out.
Thank you for the reminder that creative work doesn't mean constant production, but simply returning, again and again, on the ebb & flow of the tide within us.
This article is so timely for me. Having been recovering from burnout for the best part of 2 years, I'm finding getting back in motion is a lot harder. The reminder that the first push isn't indicative of how hard the rest of the journey will be is appreciated!
I resonate with this so strongly. The half-finished project I set aside is MUCH harder for me than the blank page. And I very much recognize myself in the cycles of inertia and motion you describe.
What I think I've finally learned about myself is that there is a point in *every* creative project I touch -- from a little card I'm drawing for a friend to a huge multi-month art piece -- where it's not going at all the way I wanted and I feel deeply dismayed and my spirits sag and I think "Ugh, this will never amount to anything" or "This is such a mess, I'll never be able to salvage it." The intensity and duration of this flag in my spirits is in direct proportion to the size of the project, so it lasts a few minutes for a small gifty thing and can last weeks, sometimes months, for a serious endeavor.
It's such a discouraging experience, but sometime in the last year I realized that it ALWAYS HAPPENS, no matter what, and if I get through it the project always *does* turn out one way or another -- maybe not the way I expected, but it's never *actually* ruined or unsalvageable, no matter what that voice whispers. Now, thankfully, when I feel that flattening sense of it'll-never-turn-out, I can recognize that it's simply that moment arising at its usual and appointed time. Sometimes, if I'm not actually enthusiastic about a project, that feeling of dismay is actually a *useful* a signal for me to abandon it -- because it truly doesn't feel worth the effort of the push -- but mostly, now, it's the signal that I should simply keep going, and it will turn out, as everything else I've made has eventually turned out.
Thank you for the reminder that creative work doesn't mean constant production, but simply returning, again and again, on the ebb & flow of the tide within us.
This article is so timely for me. Having been recovering from burnout for the best part of 2 years, I'm finding getting back in motion is a lot harder. The reminder that the first push isn't indicative of how hard the rest of the journey will be is appreciated!